Unnamed ix

ix.
How often does it break my heart
That your grace seems not enough
To satisfy my modest demands
Which, when left to their own devices,
Grow into gardens of weeds, 
Devil's fruit sown in with your good seed.

How often does it break my heart,
That my heart itself is hardened by fear,
By lack of control, by self-imposed distance
From whom it seeks, yet so soon forgets:
You and the "you" which you call forth
From me, if only I allow myself to listen.

How often does it break my heart
That--despite my stubbornness,
My utter refusal and wild claims that
I can do this on my own, that
I, American son, don't need anyone--
You cave in my world with your love.

How often does it break my heart
That you indeed must break my heart 
Again and again to show me you notice,
For never can I seem to remember that
My flaw as a human, my separation
Is overcome each day, each moment by you.

How often does it break my heart
That you care for me, that you keep
A mortal man, me, in mind,
But it is only through this and as such,
That I see you and know that I long
For nothing more than for you to break my heart.